Art to Make You Think
by trapt-tage
Summary: The White Comet vs. a block of wood. Ryosuke contemplates Art, a mountain, and how his brother knows where things belong even if he doesn't put them there.


Focus: Takahashi Ryosuke  
Course: Mixed Media Art

Disclaimer: I don't own Initial D.

* * *

Art to Make You Think

"I don't see why _I_ had to be signed up for that class…I mean, what do _I_ care about physical art?" Tsugumi complained, as she trudged through the front door carrying a moderately sized cube of wood.

"Just as I recommended that you take electives that would stimulate your mind, Keisuke suggested that you take a manual course, Tsugumi, to try to balance out the amount of textbook work you do with the amount of hands-on work you do. I believe you were there when we had that discussion." Her cousin's wordy answer somewhat surprised her, especially because the question had been semi-rhetorical and said only for its value as a complaint. But the girl was used to Ryosuke having an explanation for everything (even for things that didn't need explained), and she was also used to the fact that he was right.

"So what exactly about this course has suddenly upset you? I don't recall you complaining about it last week," Ryosuke asked, trying to figure out what exactly was the problem. He knew that there was probably something behind her spontaneous dislike of the class, for, as far as he remembered, she had never had an opposition to art in the past.

"Well…the instructor seems to think that we signed up for a Shop class we signed up for her class. She handed out these --" she held out the block of wood in her hands, "-- stupid pieces of wood, and said that our next project was going to be a wood 'sculpture' of something personal to us. This project has to be our 'personal' project, so it has to have a _special meaning _to us." She paused.

Ryosuke picked up. "And..?"

"Well… I think that teacher hates me." Ryosuke's eyebrows rose slightly at the simple statement, but he said nothing, indicating for her to continue.

"She brought in these tools from the woodshop, and she wanted us to carve something on each side of the square--"

"Cube."

"--each side of the _cube_ that represented ourselves. On the bottom we were supposed to carve our name with the 'Router,'" She finished.

"I take it there is more to your reason for why she 'hates' you?" Ryosuke asked, knowing that his cousin wasn't so shallow as to end her story there.

"Well, yeah, there is. Okay, so she called on _me _to demonstrate using the router for some reason - even though I had never used it before, either - and when I went to write my name with it, the router kinda…veered off course on the first curve. So I got really frustrated and just, kinda…went crazy with it. I guess I went a little too deep with it...and that doesn't really look like my name, either…" She paused while she forlornly admired what Ryosuke now understood was a failed art project. She continued after another second of slumping her shoulders.

"So she told me that I have to take the project home this week and make 'something personal' out of it to fulfill the 'personal art requirement'…how does she know what's personal to me? I could say cubes of wood are personal to me because it reminds me of my dead dog, or something."

"Well, it doesn't sound like something I could help you with. For one I never took that class, and two, I tutor you in Math, not Personal Art. So how about you put your wood away for now, and get out your textbooks. Maybe Keisuke will be able to give you some ideas on what to make that into, later." With that Ryosuke dismissed the matter and ended her complaints. Thus began their study session for the day, her cube of wood tucked snugly back in her bag.

-------

Project D had raced again that weekend, and being as it was Monday night, Ryosuke didn't really have to worry about the team until…later that night, when he would check the website to see if any new challenges had come in.

He sometimes forgot that his schedule allowed very little time for relaxation. If he wasn't driving, he was with his teams and his brother while they were driving; if he wasn't studying, he was helping Tsugumi study; if he wasn't at school, he was writing papers for school. And very last and very least, if the guy wasn't working on (though not to say he wasn't worried about) any of those projects, he was perhaps forcing himself to make time for a shower. Or reminding himself to eat. And every once and a while he could be caught sleeping, as well.

It had occurred to him once or twice before that he was perhaps taking on more than the average person should be able to handle, but then again, Ryosuke wasn't one to limit his expectation of himself to that of an 'average person.' He knew that he was stressed, and that he pushed himself hard, but he wasn't _too_ stressed, and he didn't push himself _too_ hard, so he was fine in his opinion.

That evening, Ryosuke did all the chores that he obligated himself to doing; the dishes, his laundry, _Keisuke_'s laundry, organizing the shoes and coats that were left in the front hall, and generally any other menial tasks that he figured would need done. Small things that kept his body busy while letting his mind wander. He could think about the next week's races while unloading the dishwasher, so such work wasn't considered a waste of time on his part.

When the house was in its right order again, Ryosuke decided he could resign to his computer, check D's challenge inbox, study for an hour, take a nap, then perhaps check in on Keisuke… the list went on of chores he would amuse himself with throughout the night.

Upon booting up his computer and checking Project D's website, he found that…there were no challenges. None that seemed worthy of dedicating his time to, anyway. It was a surprise. It was unusual.

Ryosuke leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes in an attempt simply to rest _some _part of his body. Believe it or not, Ryosuke actually enjoyed it when he had a moment to himself.

"Oi! Ryosuke!"

Well, he had at least had a moment.

Ryosuke nearly flinched at being interrupted so soon, but he simply yelled for Keisuke to enter.

"Yes, Keisuke? What do you need?" Ryosuke asked politely, being much more used to worrying about his brother than having a spare minute for himself, anyway.

"You took Tsugumi home right? 'Cause she left that block that she was bothering me about…" Keisuke held up Tsugumi's cube of wood from earlier, and after a moment of staring at it and turning it over in his hand, he set it down on one of his brother's tables, knowing that it would be properly dealt with that way.

If ever there was something Keisuke wanted his brother to handle, he would simply leave it in the wrong place, ensuring that Ryosuke's need for organization would immediately zone in on the offending and misplaced object. Ryosuke knew that his brother did such things, but again, it didn't bother him. He was used to the antics, and the responsibility it laid upon him.

_'She's coming back on Wednesday, so I can get it back to her then. It will be okay in my room until then.' _Ryosuke thought, as Keisuke exited the room, his task of misplacing something now complete. Although he had accepted the object as his responsibility and agreed that it could remain in his room…Ryosuke still picked it up and replaced it next to his computer monitor, where he believed it was less obtrusive. He may have allowed it to stay, but it was still in a place it didn't belong.

A slight change in his organized world would have to be made for Tsugumi's sake, but Ryosuke was a self-sacrificing kind of man, so he figured he would just have to deal.

--------

There were three days left until the next challenge D was up against (as Ryosuke had eventually found a worthy opponent at last, making sure the drivers wouldn't get out of practice), and the team leader had a lot on his mind. For one, he had yet to find the exact cars and drivers his team would be facing, therefore making calculations and strategies less exact and making the battles less predicable as of right now. Ryosuke didn't like that. For another thing, Ryosuke had exams coming up in the morning, and - for the first time in a long time - he was unable to concentrate on his studies. His mind was restless and anxious, as if there was something he wanted to do, or somewhere he wanted to go. He felt like getting out of the house, but college exams are not something just anyone can pass, and even he knew he needed to study. Ryosuke felt like any small annoyance was grating his nerves fine, and while he was simply unfocused and restless on the inside, to Keisuke, he appeared irritable and moody on the outside.

And the damn wood was still there! It was still there, sitting next to his monitor! A small annoyance it may be, but it was still an annoyance, and he felt that he was getting unreasonably and unjustifiably worked up over it.

It was Wednesday, and Tsugumi was supposed to have come to study with him, but the date had never happened. The girl had caught a slight chill, and had begged her mother that she could stay home absent, not wanting to go to school having to wear a jacket as she would have. So seeing as she didn't go to school, she didn't go to tutoring either, thus stranding Ryosuke with her 'art' even longer. Tsugumi was to come tomorrow to study and collect her belonging to make up for the missed session, but that didn't change the fact that he had been expecting it gone from his sight by tonight, and lo-and-behold, it was still there! His mind was clearly focusing on all the wrong problems, and the molehills were becoming mountains right in front of his eyes.

_'Mountains…' _His mind began to wander, and he was so tired of forcing himself to concentrate that he let it. He figured that if he focused on whatever it was that his mind wanted to focus on, that it would be easier to focus on his books later. The fact that he was having a momentary lapse of control didn't escape his notice, but as long as it caught no one else's, he figured he'd be able to cope. Ryosuke turned away from his laptop, and closed his eyes to brush all thoughts of the medical world out the window. If he was going to concentrate on anything, he might as well do it right.

Out the window seemed the best place to have brushed his thoughts, for when he opened his eyes, he was facing the glass door to his balcony, and seeing the skyline of Akagi with a perfectly clear mind. The thoughts that had been unvoiced before now finally took form as his eyes locked onto the dark form of the ominous mountain.

_'…Life is like… a mountain road. Always throwing you a corner at you when you least expect it. Occasionally sending a hairpin to your blind spot. Even on the straight-aways you're still driving on a slope.' _Where such thoughts had come from, he wasn't sure, but Ryosuke was too busy staring at that familiar shape outside of his window. The one that he had driven so many times that he knew the lines on that road better than the lines on his own palm.

'Pros will tell you that they drive those circuits so much that they start to compare driving the circuits to their Life. But life is nothing like a circuit. I've driven on circuits before. Circuits are predictable. They have long straight-aways that you let go of your concentration during. You can relax on a circuit. But not on the mountain passes. On the mountains you can't drop your senses for a second or you'll miss a turn. If you take your eyes off that road, that road will disappear out from under you and send you into its guardrails, or off of its side.

'Life is like a togue race. Togue races are unpredictable. You can try your hardest to prepare for it - you can run simulation after simulation, and you can try to get a feel for the course, but in the end there will always be something to surprise you. There will always be the factor of something out of your control. Maybe you have more horsepower than your opponent. So? Maybe it will rain. Then what? Maybe you've got the strongest engine and turbo in your class. But what good will that engine and turbo do you when you get trapped by a pot hole on the final straight before the goal, and fall into the lag of the boost? If you're passed at the end, it doesn't matter how much power you could have used, you still lost.

'Maybe there will be no surprise, and everything will go as smoothly as planned - becoming a surprise in itself.

'There are so many variables that you can't expect one equation to be able to satisfy every scenario. Just like you can't expect just one car to be able to win every race. I'll admit that I've made mistakes - hell, not a day goes by that I don't regret something I did - which is why I can admit defeat as well. What is the real difference between a mistake in life and a mistake in driving? Both are made much too often and much too fast to ever all be caught. You make a mistake and you don't even realize it sometimes. You have to admit it sometimes. Not one is perfect, and God doesn't race on the same mountain passes as us mortals. You have to admit it when life passes you up sometimes, because in the end, everyone will lose eventually.

'Sometimes…sometimes, no matter if you're climbing the winding mountain or racing the downhill at the speed of sound, you feel like you've lost control. Sometimes you feel like something's broken - or worse - you feel it break.

'Some people will lose that control and feel that damage, and crash during their race. They hit the guardrail, and need some help the rest of the way to the goal. Some people will smack that rail and give up. Some people will spin out. They won't make it to the goal at all, sometimes. Some people really never will make it to the top of that mountain on the hill climb. Some people will hit the guardrail with such force that they crash right through it. And they'll never race again.

'But some people can make a mistake - they'll understeer too much through the opening, or give too much room on the inside - but they will still keep trying and get back on track. Some people's tires will wear thin during that race, but they will still make it to the bottom.

'Some people might still call the corners 'curves,' but they can drift through them like any pro you've ever seen, no matter what they call it.

'All in all, you never know 'til you reach the goal what the outcome is. No matter who you are. It's all up to Fate sometimes. Maybe along the way you'll learn a lesson or two, or maybe you'll find a racer who can match you pace for pace and bring the best in you out - I think I've got Sudou for that - but at the end of the night, everyone goes home and rests up. They can rotate those weak tires, or replace that brake pad come Sunday morning; the day of relaxation.'

Ryosuke stopped his waxing to sigh, giving himself a break from everything. To stop thinking, to stop working, to stop caring…all of the options seemed so appealing, but all so forbidden. You can give up and be weak, or you can keep trying and work up your strength. Sometimes Ryosuke felt like he'd rather be weak for a moment than to carry to world on his shoulders for the rest of his life. But that wasn't the voice in his head that he wanted to listen to. That was the voice in his head that said it might be fun to crash his opponent's car, or to only drive half the course before giving up and going home. Ryosuke continued his thoughts. He was getting nowhere thinking about trying not to think.

_'I'm starting to think that I want it to be Sunday more often. Not even just for my sake, but maybe for Keisuke's as well. Maybe I'm pushing myself, but for everything I've tried at I've been succeeding. In Keisuke's case, he tries hard, but… sometimes I forget that I'm a faster driver than my brother, and sometimes I stop noticing if I'm leaving him behind. And it scares me. For his sake. Because I know he's trying, and the only problem is that he wants to be me so badly when he's not. And if I need a rest from just being me, I know that Keisuke needs a break from it._

_ 'What's worse is that, now working with Fujiwara, it's like I can gun it - put the petal to the metal - and he'll still keep up with me somehow. I don't mean for it to cause favoritism, nor do I mean for neglect, but I can't help it in a group of three people if two can keep going and one lags behind. I mean, even I make mistakes, right? I try, but what else can I do but give my advice and watch over his shoulder? I can't very well take the wheel drive for him… Keisuke is very proud to be able to show me he can win those races on his own. He likes to prove to me that he can do it._

_ '…I can tell that my team is full of enough tension to eat itself alive, actually. Takumi is very proud, no matter if he is modest, quiet, and shy. And Keisuke is no different - except that he isn't modest, quiet, or shy. I already know that neither of them want to be seen as weaker than the other, and I know that there's a silent challenge between the two of them. Just because I say nothing doesn't mean I know as much._

_ 'When Fujiwara looks at Keisuke, there is a certain fire in his eyes. He wants to challenge the man that everyone holds in such high regard. He wants to battle the rich boy. Why? Because he hates losing. Because he wants to prove his worth on the team. Because the constant presence of someone below him will boost him up._

_'If he's really vindictive about it, he'll crack a smile at the fact that it's my brother._

_ 'When I look at Keisuke though, there's no challenging fire at the mention of Fujiwara. I don't see any of that fiery will that he uses so often during his races. I see ice. Icy cold spite. Ice cold rage. I've spent enough days, and I've spent enough nights with Keisuke to be able to interpret him. When he's quiet, he's got something to say. When he feels insecure, he only likes to talk about it when he's in his car. Keisuke's been quiet, lately. He's been spending more time alone driving than ever. Don't think I haven't noticed._

_ 'He wants me to notice that he's getting better, without having to tell me. And he wants me to notice that he's upset, just so he knows I still understand him like I used to. I do know that he's gotten better, and I do know that he's upset, but I don't have the solution to this problem yet, and I don't intend to talk to him without giving him an answer. I don't intend to show him that I still don't have the answer he's been looking for._

_ 'He wants to prove that he is still up there right next to me in matters of skill and racing. He wants to prove that he's still right behind me, and that no one can replace him. I only wish I could show him that no one can replace him as my brother. But there's only so much I can say when giving him advice on those teams, without forming a bias like I've worked so hard not to._

_ 'As far as him still being second to me in skill…Life is a togue race. And in the race between Fujiwara and Keisuke - as of right now - I can already see who the winner would be. Because that's what I do, I calculate, and I observe, and I analyze these things, so that when Keisuke asks 'who's gonna win?' I'll have something to tell him. But I don't have an answer that I can give to Keisuke just yet._

_ 'I can already see who would win right now. Because Fujiwara has a job, and Fujiwara has friends, and Fujiwara has - had? - a girlfriend._

_ 'And Keisuke has me. He has me to replace all of those other things. I don't want to say it, but I'm just not enough. Keisuke believes that racing is, and will be, his occupation. And it very well may be in the future. But before he can fly, he must first learn to crawl and walk._

_'As far as friends go, Keisuke had friends in high school, but…I figured he was better of without friends than with those friends. And a girlfriend?_

_ 'Fumihiro told me all about the issue of Miss Iwase Kyoko. He told me all about Keisuke's stiff declines and cold shoulders. I've even seen her for myself, standing on the side of the road, tucked away somewhere near her FD, hoping for a glance of my brother. I've seen him shrug her off and resolve that he doesn't have time to be interested. And honestly? None of it surprises me. Because I didn't expect him to handle it any other way. I'm not going to say that I don't know how important I am to my little brother - I know that he would always put my approval as his number one priority - meaning that D gets all of his time and efforts. And I kind of hate to think that that's what's holding Keisuke back. That I'm what's holding Keisuke back. I'd love to go over and introduce myself to this Kyoko, and speak for my brother, while I politely tell him he ought to at least accompany her out on a date, but I can't do that. Because I can't take the wheel and drive for him, and I can't cut in on matters that he has to handle himself. Everyone makes mistakes, and while I want to fix all of his, I know that this is one that I can't solve for him. If that's his decision, then that's how it's going to be, because I don't drive his car, and he doesn't drive mine. It's his life to do with as he chooses; I'm just here to give advice before each race._

_ 'Which is why I'm glad that a battle between Fujiwara and Keisuke hasn't been set. Because what advice could I give them against each other? More importantly, what fail-proof advice could I give to my brother this time? Because, as of right now, Fujiwara would win that race. It's bright and clear as daylight to me. In the time allowed, Keisuke just can't get as far in life as Fujiwara._

_'Because life is, after all, a togue race.'_

Ryosuke looked one final time at the mountain that had taught him his most important lessons; the mountain that raised him. He grabbed that block of wood and he left his room. He was in the garage for a good twenty minutes before he came back up, with half a handful less of weight, and a head clear of thoughts, ready to study.

--------

"…and I came back to see a how much work I had missed, and I ended up with enough papers to fill a book!" Ryosuke didn't remember Tsugumi ever whining every time she came to see him before. Usually she was a fairly well behaved child, in his opinion. Her week just must not be going her way, apparently.

"Oh, and Ryosuke, do you have that art project of mine still? I think I left it here Monday, and now it's due tomorrow…I gotta figure out something 'personal' to do with that thing by tomorrow…" her voice was very bitter by her last statement, but Ryosuke barely paid attention to the last part.

"Yes Tsugumi, I still have it. It's in my room. But first we'll study and make up for yesterday, and then you can have your wood." His voice was the light voice he used, that still sounded like he was saying as a suggestion instead of a command, since he really wasn't going to 'command' the girl to do anything. Tsugumi agreed, and they began studying in the living room, leaving the wood alone in Ryosuke's bedroom until evening.

--------

"What…did you do?" Tsugumi's eyes were wide as she looked at the once square-shaped piece of wood. "Ryosuke, you…did my art project…kinda."

"I know. I changed it."

"Why? I mean, it's not like I care about the project…you can do whatever you want, as long as I'll be able to explain it to my instructor tomorrow… I just don't understand why you would change it from a square to…a triangle."

"I was thinking of personal art while thinking of the mountain. So…" Ryosuke picked the now pyramid-shaped piece of wood out of Tsugumi's hands, and set it on the table. The deep, squiggling line that Tsugumi had cut into the wood in her fit of frustration ran diagonally down the face of the wood towards its base. "…There. It's Akagi."

Keisuke came in just in the room time to see his brother put the piece down and give his explanation. He recognized the wood as the same piece he had left with his brother a few nights ago, only now it was different. What had used to be a bland block of wood was now a bland triangle of wood.

"You sure about that, Ry?" Keisuke asked, raising an eyebrow at the 'art' his brother was capable of. Ryosuke just looked up at his brother and curtly nodded.

"I thought it over, and…I decided that this wood reminded me of Akagi. There is the winding road, and there is the steep slope…and I sanded off that one corner right there, so that it seems like the mountain." Ryosuke said, elaborating more on what he had done.

"But, I thought this was supposed to be Tsugumi's art project…" Keisuke said, thinking it strange that Ryosuke would do this for his cousin.

'_Hell, Ry would never used to even do my homework for me…he said I had to be able to do it on my own…now he's doing Tsu's art? Man…' _Keisuke thought, feeling slightly cheated.

Ryosuke, on the other hand, had thoughts of his own about why he had done what he had. _'It was meant to be personal art, so it might as well be personal to somebody…I know that Tsugumi isn't a slacker, but I very much doubt that she would have tried her hardest on such a project that she seemed to dislike. It was with me longer than it was in her hands anyway…'_

Though what he said was, "I wasn't sure she would have the time to finish the project, looking at the circumstances…" The answer seemed to satisfy the two of them (Tsugumi more than Keisuke, who still wasn't sure about his reason), but they still didn't quite understand why he had so crudely fashioned the wood after the local landmark, let alone why he seemed to like it so much. Neither his brother nor his cousin really saw it the way he saw it, and the piece undoubtedly meant less to them, but Ryosuke still saw his mountain when he looked at that chunk of wood.

After another moment of gazing a Ryosuke's small wonder, Keisuke discovered that he finally had the words he needed to express his feelings on the project. Leaning over to Tsugumi he said,

"Psst…This is why computer geeks don't take art class…"

Ryosuke heard the comment and simply gave his brother a sharp look, while Tsugumi couldn't help but crack a smile at the expense of her favorite cousin.

--------

"What's that?" Keisuke asked, walking into his brother's room in hopes of finding something to do. Sometimes when there is nothing to do, the younger Takahashi could be found staring at his brother's back as he typed away at his laptop. To most it wouldn't seem like the most amusing activity, but it was one of the only ways that Keisuke could be around Ryosuke at home for extended periods of time without distracting him from his work…and at the same time have prolonged access to his brother's room, lest anything need misplacing.

"It's that art project I helped Tsugumi on a while back," Ryosuke said, giving his brother a clearer view of the object in his hands. "Tsugumi dropped it off earlier. She said that since it had really been _my _'personal art' that I should keep it. That and that if I didn't take it she would probably throw it away. She said that she got a C on the project, because the Instructor didn't quite believe that she had tried her hardest on it, but that she couldn't quite judge something as sentimental to another person, so she couldn't very well fail Tsugumi on it."

Keisuke didn't miss the irony that Tsugumi passed using Ryosuke's 'mountain,' but one thing still confused him.

"I thought you didn't like keeping that thing though…"

Ryosuke looked up at his brother. "What do you mean?"

"Well, every time I would come in here when you had that thing…you would be busy _glaring_ at it. I just…I didn't think you really liked having it around, I guess. And knowing how you hate things that aren't put away right…" Keisuke trailed off, his statement proving that he indeed could read his brother quite well. Ryosuke wasn't sure whether to be proud or amazed, but he settled for being used to it. Keisuke had always been the only one who could do that, after all.

Ryosuke thought over his words before he opened his mouth, but in the end the only explanation he had for accepting the piece was, "Having it just…makes me think."

The answer seemed enough for Keisuke, who somehow knew that that was all his brother had to say. Ryosuke began questioning how well he his brother must actually be able to read him for the boy to understand him so well. And as Keisuke walked over to the bed behind his brother to take his regular seat, Ryosuke took the piece of wood in his hand and placed it beside his monitor. Where it belonged.


End file.
